i saw you in my lucid dream and i made you cry
I'm sitting here listening to the new Ataris CD...So Long, Astoria...it's so wonderful...I'm thinking it's their best one yet. I am quite fond of their older stuff for sentimental reasons, but as with everything, it's time to move on. I feel like this is a much more mature album. The boys have definately grown up since Blue Skies and Broken Hearts. I love the song In This Diary...
I worked in Brew for some of the afternoon, but it was slow so when Kate came in, Adrian let me go shopping with her. We just ended up going frigging crazy in a CD store and buying about 5 CDs each. I love getting them back and carefully unwrapping them and looking through the liners. We took them back to Brew after about 2 hours of intensive shopping in preparation for our Italian excursion...dumped everything on the counter and showed Adrian what all we'd purchased. It was a great day...as we were walking back after having lunch and some coffee it started raining even though the sun was beaming down on us. It made me think of Kelby and that summer before I left Paducah. He kissed me once in the rain when the sun was shining...later that fall he sent me a text message to tell me that he'd seen that weather again and thought of me...and today made me miss him. He was such a sweet boy and I'm really hoping I can find him to say hello again when I get home. I hate losing touch with people.
So I'm leaving Preston on Thursday and I am so sad about it just the thought makes me cry. This place has made me really struggle to be myself...learn what that really means...to learn what it means to move on...to really make the most of my days alone...what it means to be a good friend...how to stand up for what I believe in even when I stand alone. I will always love Preston. I will always remember my time here as bringing me closer to being the woman I want to be.
I watched a movie at 2pm yesterday in room 202 of the library with Liz from New York, Jessica from New Mexico, and Kate. It was called Waking Life and it made me have a lucid dream last night. The whole movie was animation over film (if that makes sense) and was by the director of Dazed and Confused. It talked about dreams, death, evolution, boredom, love, and philosophy. It was so weird, but I loved how thoughtful it was. I tried some techniques to make myself have a lucid dream last night and it frigging worked. I'm going to experiment with it a bit more..can you imagine being conscious in your dreams enough to be able to control them? I want to fly. I want to feel joy in my dreams...I want to be able to stop nightmares. This is going to take some time. Time I have.
I'm sitting here listening to the new Ataris CD...So Long, Astoria...it's so wonderful...I'm thinking it's their best one yet. I am quite fond of their older stuff for sentimental reasons, but as with everything, it's time to move on. I feel like this is a much more mature album. The boys have definately grown up since Blue Skies and Broken Hearts. I love the song In This Diary...
I worked in Brew for some of the afternoon, but it was slow so when Kate came in, Adrian let me go shopping with her. We just ended up going frigging crazy in a CD store and buying about 5 CDs each. I love getting them back and carefully unwrapping them and looking through the liners. We took them back to Brew after about 2 hours of intensive shopping in preparation for our Italian excursion...dumped everything on the counter and showed Adrian what all we'd purchased. It was a great day...as we were walking back after having lunch and some coffee it started raining even though the sun was beaming down on us. It made me think of Kelby and that summer before I left Paducah. He kissed me once in the rain when the sun was shining...later that fall he sent me a text message to tell me that he'd seen that weather again and thought of me...and today made me miss him. He was such a sweet boy and I'm really hoping I can find him to say hello again when I get home. I hate losing touch with people.
So I'm leaving Preston on Thursday and I am so sad about it just the thought makes me cry. This place has made me really struggle to be myself...learn what that really means...to learn what it means to move on...to really make the most of my days alone...what it means to be a good friend...how to stand up for what I believe in even when I stand alone. I will always love Preston. I will always remember my time here as bringing me closer to being the woman I want to be.
I watched a movie at 2pm yesterday in room 202 of the library with Liz from New York, Jessica from New Mexico, and Kate. It was called Waking Life and it made me have a lucid dream last night. The whole movie was animation over film (if that makes sense) and was by the director of Dazed and Confused. It talked about dreams, death, evolution, boredom, love, and philosophy. It was so weird, but I loved how thoughtful it was. I tried some techniques to make myself have a lucid dream last night and it frigging worked. I'm going to experiment with it a bit more..can you imagine being conscious in your dreams enough to be able to control them? I want to fly. I want to feel joy in my dreams...I want to be able to stop nightmares. This is going to take some time. Time I have.
posted by mandypants at 12:09 PM
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