* silent reflections *
I am usually surrounded by noise. If I'm at work, it's the police scanner and the sounds of the newsroom (phones ringing, jokes being told, stories being read out loud for suggestion). If I'm in the car, it's my own music that I'm probably singing to. When I'm at home, I'm more than likely watching a movie or listening to music. Heck, I even have a shower radio.
I am constantly surrounded by sound.
Except for right now.
It's so quiet in my house that I can hear the fizz escaping out of my bottle. It's so dark that the only light in the house is coming from the 4 candles I have lit on the top of my desk.
It is both quiet and dark. I like this. I have the house to myself.
* baking cakes *
As you may or may not know, being 22, single and female can be a challenge.
Have you ever been out on a date or pseud-date and things are going so well that it scares you and then your date says something that becomes the romantic equivalent of the Atomic Bomb on Nagasaki?
Allow me to relate.
Sometimes, when guys say things to me, I should realize that it is nothing more than a grain of sugar. It can be sweet, but it is to be taken very lightly because it's not the entire story. I have always been a baker. I will take one interesting, seemingly compatible or sweet thing ( follow the sugar grain agalogy) and bake an entire cake out of it. Or at least I'll see the cake...three tiers and covered in chocolate frosting. Looks delicious.
But it's not real.
Then, at some point, I discover that whatever I thought the cake consisted of, never actually existed. It's made of air. The sugar grain goes back to being what it always was - a microscopic momentary confection. And then I feel cheated and I go through sugar shock.
It's torture. Self-inflicted torture.
I look at the guys that I date as potential stories. I think that most girls do...whether they'll admit to it or not. You end up thinking..."wow...this would be such a cool story to tell later on.."
Maybe it's just because I'm a writer. Who konws.
Let me get to the point.
* the point *
I met a guy last Sunday. I was out covering a story on some military guys coming back from Iraq. (DISCLAIMER: If you are that guy and you end up reading this, I'm sorry. I'm not going to use your name, so calm down. You should have known better than to go out with a writer.)
As a member of the press, I was allowed to walk from the plane with the soldiers as they made their way to their families. I started walking with this one soldier and interviewing him...I ended up talking to his family and he became the focus of my story.
He introduced me to one of his friends, another soldier, who was standing nearby.
I interviewed him as well. He was funny, charming and easy to talk to. I could tell that he was intelligent. I could tell that he was reflective. I thought he was cute immediately.
On Monday, he left a message on my phone at work asking if he could come get a CD with the pictures I took on it. I called him back and he came in on Tuesday to pick up the CD.
Now this is apparently a trick that military guys use, so girls pay attention to this next part.
( I still think it's sort of cute though.)
He came to get the CD and was making small talk and told me how he'd been all over town trying to find someone to sew some patches on his uniform. He wanted to wear it to church on Sunday and couldn't find anyone to do it. I, of course, fell right into that trap willingly and told him that I sew. Going to get the thread turned into dinner and that turned into a long conversation.
By this point, I really thought that he had potential. He was a gentleman and he seemed like he'd be a blast to hang out with. We were singing in my car on the way to dinner, dang it. We danced in Wal-Mart while getting the thread. He was a doll.
Then at dinner, after we prayed over the food, he told me that I was the first girl who had ever asked to pray over a meal and he thought that was really nice. (APPLY THE GRAIN OF SUGAR ANALOGY HERE). My mind immediately rang off that old familiar...
"OH WOW OH WOW...YOU ARE COMPATIBLE...OH WOW!"
Ready for the Atomic Bomb?
He's Mormon.
I am very not Mormon. As a matter of fact, I don't think that I'll ever be even a tiny bit close to being a God, I don't believe that people with dark skin have dark skin as a punishment from God and I hold no human being in higher esteem than Jesus Christ (especially not some guy named Joseph Smith who lived in upstate New York in the 1880s). I drink caffeine, the occasional bit of alcohol in moderation and I don't want to be someone's 9th wife. I don't think that it is by my good works that I "earn" heaven or eternity. I don't believe in "spirit babies" and I really don't think that Jesus and Lucifer were brothers at any point in time.
Sadly, I did not realize all this stuff about Mormonism until the night after the date. When he said that he was Mormon, I only thought "Utah" and "poligamy...but nobody really does that anymore, do they?"
How do I get into these things? Where do I find these people? At least this cake came back down to reality very quickly and I didn't have any of my heart invested in it. *phew*
Like I said before, it's not easy being a S/W/F. I just wish that there was some way to stop the cake baking at some uber-preliminary stage. What is it about me that makes me just jump into things and have so much faith in people? I get let down really hard every single time when I realize that they're not who I built them up to be...
and don't say that I have unreachable standards and that I want someone that is so perfect that they don't exist.
I have gone out with the following in the past year:
1) most recently, a Mormon
2) a guy who had several other girlfriends he failed to tell me about
3) a guy who got mad at me for no good reason about really stupid things and treated me horribly (worse than he'd treat a total stranger)
4) a guy i seriously think is gay
5) an eternal college student (think 25-year-old sophomore)
It will probably get worse. I have even been told that I'm intimidating. Well, to guys like that, I guess I would be. I'm 22. I have a job and I get along with my family. I have goals and dreams that I am actively pursuing. I am comfortable with myself and I have knowledge of political issues. I can discuss the French Revolution with some degree of accuracy. I have traveled. I am not afraid to be alone. I am not afraid to let someone know when they've hurt my feelings or upset me. I love to laugh and can have a perfectly good time with or without someone. I have a great knowledge of music and 90s trivia.
And I date losers.
(and people with wacko religious beliefs, just to be fair. he wasn't a loser, just a bit out there.)
I am usually surrounded by noise. If I'm at work, it's the police scanner and the sounds of the newsroom (phones ringing, jokes being told, stories being read out loud for suggestion). If I'm in the car, it's my own music that I'm probably singing to. When I'm at home, I'm more than likely watching a movie or listening to music. Heck, I even have a shower radio.
I am constantly surrounded by sound.
Except for right now.
It's so quiet in my house that I can hear the fizz escaping out of my bottle. It's so dark that the only light in the house is coming from the 4 candles I have lit on the top of my desk.
It is both quiet and dark. I like this. I have the house to myself.
* baking cakes *
As you may or may not know, being 22, single and female can be a challenge.
Have you ever been out on a date or pseud-date and things are going so well that it scares you and then your date says something that becomes the romantic equivalent of the Atomic Bomb on Nagasaki?
Allow me to relate.
Sometimes, when guys say things to me, I should realize that it is nothing more than a grain of sugar. It can be sweet, but it is to be taken very lightly because it's not the entire story. I have always been a baker. I will take one interesting, seemingly compatible or sweet thing ( follow the sugar grain agalogy) and bake an entire cake out of it. Or at least I'll see the cake...three tiers and covered in chocolate frosting. Looks delicious.
But it's not real.
Then, at some point, I discover that whatever I thought the cake consisted of, never actually existed. It's made of air. The sugar grain goes back to being what it always was - a microscopic momentary confection. And then I feel cheated and I go through sugar shock.
It's torture. Self-inflicted torture.
I look at the guys that I date as potential stories. I think that most girls do...whether they'll admit to it or not. You end up thinking..."wow...this would be such a cool story to tell later on.."
Maybe it's just because I'm a writer. Who konws.
Let me get to the point.
* the point *
I met a guy last Sunday. I was out covering a story on some military guys coming back from Iraq. (DISCLAIMER: If you are that guy and you end up reading this, I'm sorry. I'm not going to use your name, so calm down. You should have known better than to go out with a writer.)
As a member of the press, I was allowed to walk from the plane with the soldiers as they made their way to their families. I started walking with this one soldier and interviewing him...I ended up talking to his family and he became the focus of my story.
He introduced me to one of his friends, another soldier, who was standing nearby.
I interviewed him as well. He was funny, charming and easy to talk to. I could tell that he was intelligent. I could tell that he was reflective. I thought he was cute immediately.
On Monday, he left a message on my phone at work asking if he could come get a CD with the pictures I took on it. I called him back and he came in on Tuesday to pick up the CD.
Now this is apparently a trick that military guys use, so girls pay attention to this next part.
( I still think it's sort of cute though.)
He came to get the CD and was making small talk and told me how he'd been all over town trying to find someone to sew some patches on his uniform. He wanted to wear it to church on Sunday and couldn't find anyone to do it. I, of course, fell right into that trap willingly and told him that I sew. Going to get the thread turned into dinner and that turned into a long conversation.
By this point, I really thought that he had potential. He was a gentleman and he seemed like he'd be a blast to hang out with. We were singing in my car on the way to dinner, dang it. We danced in Wal-Mart while getting the thread. He was a doll.
Then at dinner, after we prayed over the food, he told me that I was the first girl who had ever asked to pray over a meal and he thought that was really nice. (APPLY THE GRAIN OF SUGAR ANALOGY HERE). My mind immediately rang off that old familiar...
"OH WOW OH WOW...YOU ARE COMPATIBLE...OH WOW!"
Ready for the Atomic Bomb?
He's Mormon.
I am very not Mormon. As a matter of fact, I don't think that I'll ever be even a tiny bit close to being a God, I don't believe that people with dark skin have dark skin as a punishment from God and I hold no human being in higher esteem than Jesus Christ (especially not some guy named Joseph Smith who lived in upstate New York in the 1880s). I drink caffeine, the occasional bit of alcohol in moderation and I don't want to be someone's 9th wife. I don't think that it is by my good works that I "earn" heaven or eternity. I don't believe in "spirit babies" and I really don't think that Jesus and Lucifer were brothers at any point in time.
Sadly, I did not realize all this stuff about Mormonism until the night after the date. When he said that he was Mormon, I only thought "Utah" and "poligamy...but nobody really does that anymore, do they?"
How do I get into these things? Where do I find these people? At least this cake came back down to reality very quickly and I didn't have any of my heart invested in it. *phew*
Like I said before, it's not easy being a S/W/F. I just wish that there was some way to stop the cake baking at some uber-preliminary stage. What is it about me that makes me just jump into things and have so much faith in people? I get let down really hard every single time when I realize that they're not who I built them up to be...
and don't say that I have unreachable standards and that I want someone that is so perfect that they don't exist.
I have gone out with the following in the past year:
1) most recently, a Mormon
2) a guy who had several other girlfriends he failed to tell me about
3) a guy who got mad at me for no good reason about really stupid things and treated me horribly (worse than he'd treat a total stranger)
4) a guy i seriously think is gay
5) an eternal college student (think 25-year-old sophomore)
It will probably get worse. I have even been told that I'm intimidating. Well, to guys like that, I guess I would be. I'm 22. I have a job and I get along with my family. I have goals and dreams that I am actively pursuing. I am comfortable with myself and I have knowledge of political issues. I can discuss the French Revolution with some degree of accuracy. I have traveled. I am not afraid to be alone. I am not afraid to let someone know when they've hurt my feelings or upset me. I love to laugh and can have a perfectly good time with or without someone. I have a great knowledge of music and 90s trivia.
And I date losers.
(and people with wacko religious beliefs, just to be fair. he wasn't a loser, just a bit out there.)
posted by mandypants at 10:35 PM
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