*is it worth it? can you even hear me?*

Why is that just before you leave somewhere you start feeling really attached?
I've spent four years resenting Lexington and everything about it. Now I'm sure that I'll miss parts of it immensely and always look back on my time here as a time of immense growth for me.

To keep from feeling so down, I'm going to make a list of things I want to do in the next few years. I'm not sad about the past, I'm not living in the future, and I am thankful for today.
Here goes nothing. I'm sure that nobody reads this blog anymore so I feel like I'm talking to myself, but I sort of like that. Bring on the mental hospital.

1) Visit Italy again. My first trip was very rushed and I'd love to have time to wander around at my leisure and take pictures, write and eat dessert first. I'd also love to take a good friend or love there so I would have someone to share it with.

2) Write a book that touches someone as much as The Perks of Being a Wallflower touched me. I'm so serious...that book made a monumental impact on the way I see things every day. I'd love to be able to give someone a different perspective with my writing.

3) This one is pathetic and selfish, but I've always wanted to be painted. I'd love to sit for a portrait by an art student. I'd probably just drape a piece of silk around myself and let them paint me like that. I don't know anyone who has ever been painted, and I think it's very romantic and plan to do it before I get old.

4) I want to sing on the top of a piano in a black dress. Pearl necklace. Black heels. The whole works. I've got an idea of what I'd sing, but I'm open to suggestions.

5) Save someone's life. I hope that if I am ever in the situation to, that I would be able to react quickly enough to save a person's life. What an amazing feeling that would be.

6) I used to dream of taking a picture that would make it into a newspaper, but I've done that so I'll up the challenge. I'd love to take a picture that made it into a magazine and really made people stop and take note. Not just to document the obvious, but to display the unusually beautiful.

7) I'd like to have my niece or daughter someday look me in the face and tell me that they think I'm brave. That would be the most amazing feeling to know that I'd inspired another young woman in my family. The thought of that moment helps me make decisions...

8) Be the kind of woman who makes pies for her friends when they are feeling down. I want my kitchen to be a place of conversation, love and friendship. I want people to always feel like they can count of me when they are feeling down and they can stop by for some encouragement. I want to be a truly great friend to everyone I can.

9) Have a drink named after me at a bar. This one is silly, but I mean it. I think it'd be funny to be sitting at a bar and have someone come in an order a "Mandy on ice."

10) I want to look back on things when I'm old and know that I never settled for anything less than what I deserve. I want to know that I've been worth the whole world to somebody and that nobody ever regretted standing up for me. I want to know that I've been a caring lover, warm friend and a decent human.

So yeah. Nobody will probably ever read this. That's cool.